Stress is Imbalance, not Weakness

I consider myself to have a strong constitution  -- I persevere, I move forward, I do what needs to be done. I rely on my mind and spirit to propel me forward in life.

I was offended by anyone implying I might be dealing with stress in my life. I always linked the idea of being stressed to being weak of mind and spirit.

There was a lot of ego getting between my perceived definition of stress and what stress really was in my life. In reality, for me, stress was more physical yet propagated by my mind's unwillingness to ever give in, to take the breaks I needed, to nourish myself. A lot of my strength was really a survival instinct because I was a very responsible person, always committed to my task, applying great importance to the smallest details. I had no boundaries, just persistence.

My mind and spirit would direct me to keep going, to work until the project was complete, I would keep my body going on tasks simply because pain didn't bother me emotionally, I even liked the challenge.


It's amazing in hindsight how so many of these qualities are clearly qualities that underlay a survival instinct that I had drawn out on a daily basis not set aside for true life-death or high stake situations. They had become a part of how I identified myself on resumes: hard worker, reliable, detail-oriented, etc... I didn't like to be vulnerable and rarely let other people help me with projects.

I was a shallow breather... I didn't like to relax on my time off. I felt like I was overly aware of things - little details, things that needed doing - I couldn't let them just be, they had to be fixed. My down time was getting out and moving around even more.

It's not easy stepping out of that 'always on' state and learning to relax, to breathe deeper, to indulge in comfort. That state of relaxation seemed immensely boring and wasteful, how the lazy people spent their time.

While I am certain we do need those spikes of hormones and elevated heart rate and challenging of our muscles and bones etc, it is also crucial to be able to come back down and be in a calm space.

When in that stress state or chronically stressed state, we are not in a state of pleasure or digestion or healing. So then we eventually the body hits that point of depletion. Strong minded, strong spirited, and our bodies beginning to fall apart -- Joint pain, rosacea, psoriasis, irritable bowl, insomnia, forgetfulness, insulin resistance, frequent colds, exhaustion, hormonal imbalance, high blood pressure, headaches, pain, etc.


You might already be using some tools to knock yourself out of that stress state -- a couple glasses of wine or a bowl of pasta before bed, zoning out in front of the T.V., going out for drinks after work, video games, going for a run. I would encourage including some additional or alternate tools that are more nourishing and relaxing. The aforementioned techniques are more popular because they match our fire-minded personalities while the tips I am about to suggest may seem more 'mooshy gooshy' but I would argue they are likely more healing with less side-effects.


1) Deep Breathing - Belly breathing helps pull you into a calm space. Its great to stop and just breathe deeply several times a day, especially before meals and in the middle of a long, demanding task at work or home.

2) Get a Massage - Massages help with blood and lymph flow and relaxation. Most people don't get enough positive physical contact. If you're jumpy to other peoples touch, there are hydro massage machines (ie. at Diversified Health centre on Fort St in Victoria BC) where you lay on a water massage bed fully clothed and in private room.

3) Let Someone Take Care of You -- Enjoy when someone else does something for you, don't let it pass quickly with a fast 'thank you' -- let it truly affect you and warm your heart.

4) Spend Time with Pets -- I love massaging my pets and giving them little kisses on their ears. The loving look in their eyes melts away my stress.

5) Spend Time in Nature -- let your senses enjoy the ebb and flow of a breeze on your skin, the smell of sap, the colour of the flowers, the shapes of the trees...Breathe slowly and deeply. Perceive them as nourishing, encompassing and loving.


6) Sip a warm drink -- Herbal Tea, Lemon and un-pasturized honey in hot water, Natural Calm flavoured Magnesium powder, coconut cream with honey and cinnamon etc...

7) Find friends who treat you well -- Good friends and fun is nourishing so make time for this every week.

8) Consider a natural relaxation remedy that suits your system - Passionflower, Skullcap, Magnesium, B complex. Remember, the quality of the ingredients is extremely important. Always ask for a product monograph so you are informed about any contraindications or side-effects. I think we often over-cook our brains by making too many decisions, worrying too much, having too many responsibilities. It can be hard to shut off your thoughts and some of the above remedies may be helpful.


9) Eat balanced meals -- Planning out meals weekly in mason jars, or by themes helps ensure you get a good balance of protein, fats, carbs, fiber. Also, measure out your water and ensure you drink the full amount each day. Ensure you're choosing nutrient dense options whenever possible.